“One of life’s great tragedies – We don’t know we are living in the good old days until the good old days are gone.” ~ Christian White, Second Skin
That quote came from an audible book I started listening to this week, and as soon as I heard it, it filled my heart and soul. There is nothing more true… or more tragic.
So many times (like this week), when I am missing Bruce, the memories come flooding back. The strange thing is most of those memories are simple day to day moments. Sure, I often remember and write about the big moments… Things that defined our relationship or took us down another path in our lives. But to be honest, I believe it is those day to day moments that may have shaped us even more, because those moments were the foundation of our lives… They were the anchor on which our responses to the bigger moments seemed to rely.
The day in and day out of our lives together created a simply routine that over time brought us closer and closer together. The crazy thing… And the sad thing is I took them for granted. Those really were the good old days, but I didn’t know it. I didn’t know just how special they really were. Nor did I know how quickly they would end or how much I would miss them.
I have found myself thinking about those “good old day” moments this week… The way Bruce always started his day in his easy chair, leaning back, watching the news, working his Sudoku and drinking a cup of coffee. That was his time… He wasn’t ready for conversation yet, but as I went about my own morning routine, he always had a smile as I passed by or a gentle squeeze of my hand if I passed close enough. Those smiles and those gentle touches are so special to me now.
I used to love our Sunday afternoons… Whether we were grilling or cooking in the kitchen, there was always music playing, and that man, beer in hand, would be barefoot and dancing as he went about making dinner. Sometimes I helped, and sometimes I just sat on one of the bar stools and talked to him. But it never failed that at some point, he would take my hand and spin me around the floor for quick dance and hug. Such a simple moment… but such a precious memory.
When we were in the car, he never talked much… Of course, he wasn’t a huge talker any time, but in the car, (generally speaking) he was even more quiet. But always, he had one hand either on my leg or holding my hand. I remember once when we were first dating, as he placed his hand on my leg he said, “I hope you don’t mind. I just can’t be near you and not touch you.” I remember grinning and telling him I loved it… And that sealed it…
There were other simple moments that made up our lives. For example, we always went to bed together and woke up together. It wasn’t like we had ever talked about it, and decided we should do that… We just did it… from day one. Yet, the act of starting and ending our days together became as important to us as breathing… It was just a part of how we functioned as a couple.
These were the day to day moments that made up our lives. There are so many of them, I could go on and on… but I won’t. I am sure you get the picture and are thinking of your own simple moments that you miss. That’s just it… I miss those moments the most, I think. They made up my day and our routine. Those were our “good old days” and we didn’t even know it… Not until they were gone.
I have spent the past seven years trying to re-establish a day to day routine… a “new normal,” as they say. One that can no longer include Bruce, no matter how much I wish it could. It’s been hard… Sometimes I feel like I am making progress, but then, out of nowhere, I seem to take several steps backward and have to start again.
But somewhere along this path, (the one without Bruce), I came to realize that these are also “the good old days.” I am blessed to have most of my children living nearby and my grandson right here in my home. My life is different without Bruce, but there is still laughter and love and so many precious moments that I wouldn’t miss for the world.
So, yes… Those were the good old days, and I miss them terribly. I hate that I didn’t know to appreciate them while they were happening… However, these are the good old days, too… And this time I want to soak in every one of them and count my blessings as they happen!
So, that was my world this week. I apologize for not posting last week. I don’t often miss a week, but life got a little crazy, and priorities had to be handled. I don’t know if you can relate to my thoughts on the “good old days” and those simple moments or maybe this is something you are experiencing as well. Either way, I would love to hear from you. What were the simple moments that made up your good old days? Which simple moments do you miss most? If you would like to share your thoughts or experience or if you need a helping hand or even a virtual hug, let us know… we are here for you. To leave a comment or story, go to the comments and leave us a note. * Who knows… your story may the answer for someone else.
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