Happy Birthday, Bruce!
Bruce’s birthday was this past week. When we were married, we always celebrated on the Alabama coast with his folks. After he died, I always spent it at the beach – either the one here or I would travel to another beach somewhere… But always at a beach somewhere. That was “our” space – any beach, anywhere…
This year, however, with all the Covid-19 restrictions, the beaches here are closed, and all rentals canceled. So, there was no traveling this year, and no going to our beach either. For days beforehand, I was really down. In the past, I have always made sure the day was about honoring his life and all the things he loved… somehow, I felt like I was failing him.
In the days beforehand, my daughter suggested I create my own “beach” here in the backyard. “Kind of silly,” I thought, “but why not.” So, I ordered a few items and waited…
Journal:
Happy birthday, Babe! Well, it hasn’t felt like much of a birthday. (Of course, I know a lot of people are in this same boat.) But I tried. I have managed to fill the day with sun, water, Jimmy Buffet, rum and lots of memories… I think I have replayed every Alabama trip in my mind. There are too many fun memories to ponder today. Good grief! What I wouldn’t give to celebrate another birthday with you in Alabama. It’s been such a long time since we’ve done that.
It’s hot as Hades here today, but thankfully, there has been a good breeze. I couldn’t make it out to the beach today, because of everything. However, I did put a water-filled tanning bed/pool under the palms in the backyard – flamingos, rum drinks, naps, reading, writing, and (of course) Jimmy Buffet playing in the background.
It’s been a nice day, Babe. The only thing missing was you… but that isn’t meant to be evidently. I wanted to honor you today, and all things considered, I think you would have liked it.
And I say “good night” at the end of another day…
Another day without you…
Another day on my own…
Another day of missing you,
And wishing with all my heart for one more moment with you.
A moment to touch your face,
Look into your eyes,
Kiss your lips,
And feel your arms around me…
How I wish!
But that is not to be,
Not ever again.
So, all I can say is,
“I love you, Babe…
Always and forever…
Happy Birthday once again
And… Good night.”
~ Linda April 2020
So, that was my world this week. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and kind messages of love and support. I don’t know if this is something you can relate to or if this is something you are also facing, but either way, I would love to hear from you. How do you celebrate your loved one’s birthdays? Is this current situation changing how you will celebrate? If you would like to share your thoughts or experience or if you need a helping hand or even a virtual hug, let us know… we are here for you. To leave a comment or story, go to the comments and leave us a note. * Who knows… your story may the answer for someone else.
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