Sundays… I love Sundays. There are a lot of things I have to accomplish on Sundays to prepare for the week ahead, but still… There is a calm and quiet about Sunday’s that just feel like the perfect way to start the week.
I can’t say I always felt that way, though. Growing up, it was a quiet day… We went into town for church, but then the afternoon (or most of them) was spent at our grandparents’ house having a family lunch and a quiet afternoon with the kids playing in the yard and the grownups either sitting in the shade (when the weather permitted) or sitting in the living room and chatting about life. I remember being there all afternoon and falling asleep in my grandfather’s lap with my head resting on his chest.
When I became an adult with a family of my own, I am saddened to say that most of that went out the window. It just seemed like we always had something to do or somewhere to go. I had never heard the term “boundaries” and didn’t have the slightest clue how to reclaim that time and make it ours – just ours. Others might make demands on our time during the week, but I missed having this one day to slow down and breathe.
When Bruce and I got married though, he was a big believer in “a day of rest” … and Sundays quickly became “our time”. No matter what shifts we were currently working, we both always had Sunday as a day off. Depending on the season, we might spend the day on the boat or at the beach… We might go visit with his folks or go for a hike in the woods… Or we might spend the day snuggled on the couch while he watched sports and I read a book.
It may sound funny, but the day always ended with him cooking in the kitchen. Sometimes I was in there working right alongside him and other times, I would find myself sitting on the barstool at the counter, sipping on a glass of wine, and chatting with him as he did his magic. And then there were those times when the food was forgotten as we danced barefoot in the kitchen – lost in a precious moment of love’s expression.
Honestly, it didn’t really matter what we did. Whatever we chose to do, it was relaxing – not stressful… And it was us… together… not either of us alone. That time together was sacred time… It was our time… And we always made sure to prioritize that day and each other.
My gosh, how I loved those Sundays with him… How I miss those Sundays with him.
So today, as I sit here reminiscing, I am flooded with a thousand memories of lazy Sunday afternoons spent doing ordinary things with the love of my life. I find myself smiling… and crying… and laughing… and missing… And all because we took the time to prioritize US.
And I guess that every week when I sit down to write this blog, I am still doing that. I am committed to this time each week… Time to remember… Time to grieve… Time to love… Time for us… I guess Sundays are still “our time”.
This week…
I have missed you
And
I have remembered you.
I have cried for you
And
I have danced with you.
I am tired of hurting
But
I’m not tired of loving you.
~ Linda, September 2021
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Grief is a daily challenge that changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.
I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.
Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*
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