Month: December 2025

Peace, Love, and Grief – Comfort and Joy

“I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them and give them gladness for sorrow.”

~ Jeremiah 31:13

When my kids were little and I taught music and directed several choirs, this was our busiest time of year. There were musicals, concerts, private performances, caroling, parades, and church services. You name it, and we were there… And that was on top of everything else the season demanded, such as shopping, wrapping, cards, cooking, visits, etc.

I loved it! … At the same time, it was absolutely exhausting!

When Bruce and I got married, while I still sang in the church choir, I changed career fields and let the rest go. It was kind of nice to “sit back” a little bit and simply enjoy only a little bit of the chaos. Bruce was such a calm, chill soul that the season never seemed to get out of hand.

Instead, with Bruce, the holiday took on a whole different feel… One that allowed time to simply sit and take in all of the sights and smells… One, I believe, I had been chasing my whole life. For the first time that I ever experienced, we actually had time to just sit together on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and simply spend time together.

Even on our last Christmas together, we kept the day simple and went kayaking after opening our gifts. It was quiet and relaxing… and fun and beautiful on the water that day. While the pictures I took are terrible, the memories they inspire are absolutely fantastic.

Through the years, since then, I have gone from running away from the holiday to finally embracing it again. This year, though, I felt something more tugging at my soul. At first, I wasn’t even sure what it was I was seeking…

Then, in my devotions this week, the topic of “comfort” came up. It talked about the chaos that the season can induce, and how easy it is to get so lost in all of it that we end up feeling completely alone, despite being around so many people. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt exactly that since Bruce died – completely surrounded and yet completely alone.

But the devotion didn’t stop there… It went on to talk about taking the time to “go within” and find that special connection with the Divine. It talked about when we find ourselves grieving someone who is no longer here to celebrate with us, we can find solace in that spiritual connection… We can find comfort there… which opens the door to the joy of the season versus the busyness… This embodied so much of what Bruce had showed me about this season but has been so easily forgotten as the momentum snowballs.

As I meditated on all of this, the song, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, came to mind, especially that last verse…

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

And that is my wish for all of us this season… That we will slow down and take the time to hold each other in our hearts… That we will lay down our differences and simple love each other in such a way that we all feel comfort and joy – once again… or (maybe even) for the first time.
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Grief is a daily challenge that changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.

I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.

Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog; for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.

Peace, Love, and Grief – It’s Okay

Last week, you may remember, I was struggling – the holidays, the grief, the loneliness, the pressure – all of it was bringing me to a space that felt raw and dark… a space I didn’t want to be but wasn’t quite sure how to get around it.

But… The Universe/the Divine/Life, (choose your word), heard my cry for help…

Throughout the week, (despite the fact that I don’t even think they read this blog), friends and loved ones have sent me messages that either made me laugh or were messages of love or simply checking in to remind me that, despite what I may feel, I am not alone in this world. Even some of you, letting me know that you are feeling the same – that we are here, supporting each other. All of that seemed to be exactly what I needed… something else to focus on… something positive.

Some of the first messages were the ones that made me laugh… Oh my gosh! I needed that! I needed to laugh… and I needed that reminder that life is not meant to be so serious. It is much healthier to let myself laugh at the crazy, imperfections of life, than to stress about trying to make it all perfect, especially in a world that isn’t.

Then came the reminders of love and genuine caring about how I’m doing… Reminders that others realize this is a hard time of year… They understand the hurt that I may be feeling but want me to remember that I don’t need to carry all of that by myself.

I am loved… and every person in my world has reminded me of that this week.

It has all been a wonderful reminder that while I can’t control my emotions… They happen. They are what they are… What I can control is how I express and/or respond to those emotions. I was on the right path… I was working to stay focused on the positive, and life responded by multiplying the positive ten-fold.

And now… here I am, feeling abundantly loved… Still missing Bruce. (I don’t think that will ever go away completely.) Yet, feeling positive about the season, taking life as it comes, and feeling blessed by so many wonderful people in my world… Thank you.
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Grief is a daily challenge that changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.

I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.

Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog; for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.

Peace, Love, and Grief – Here We Go Again

The last time I wrote, (before Thanksgiving), I was fighting to focus on things that make me smile – precious memories of past holidays and being mindful of the present and the memories currently being made… And “fighting” is the perfect word for how I have been feeling.

I don’t know why, but this year’s holiday season is a bigger struggle than the last few. There is no logical reason for it, but then again, grief has never been a logical journey for me. So, I have found myself hanging on for dear life, as this roller coaster seems to be barreling uncontrollably along the track.

It started about two or three weeks ago… Whenever I was alone, depression seemed to be closing in all around me, and the tears would start filling up my eyes. I was trying so hard to fight it… To push through it… To not let that negativity take over this holiday season.

Then, the week of Thanksgiving, things took a deep dive. For whatever reason, I started waking up with an overwhelming feeling of doom and deep anxiety. There was no reason for it in my daily life, so I am guessing it has been coming from my dreams, which I can’t seem to recall.

Then, from Thanksgiving to now, I have felt like I am sitting on the edge of some dark abyss – trying to maintain my balance… trying not to tumble down into that dark space, where climbing back out can feel nearly impossible. The tears are falling several times a day, and the smile I force on my face in public feels as fake as the fingernails on my hands.

With a lot of self-reflection, I have come to realize that while a big piece of all these emotions is simply because it is the holidays and Bruce is not here (again), there are other factors as well… Things that I am struggling to handle alone… Things that hurt so badly, I would give anything to feel Bruce’s arms around me – pulling me in and holding me tight, assuring me that I am not alone…

But I am alone… Bruce’s arms are no longer here to hold me… no longer here to bring me comfort or reassurance that it will all be okay.

This has been my year to stand in my truth… To hold my boundaries even when I know my decision is something the other person doesn’t quite know how to manage. I have spent most of my life making decisions to keep everyone else happy. However, when Bruce came along, he started encouraging me to just be me… It was hard and progress was slow. Then, he died and I was back at square one.

After so many years (and lots of counseling), I found myself ready to truly live my truth in 2025… Or so I thought. It has been hard… so hard. Most of my friends and family have been beyond supportive – encouraging me when I falter and allowing me to figure all of this out without the added pressure of killing the relationship if I don’t capitulate to what I think they want or need.

At the same time, that support has not come from everyone. I have lost some relationships this year that mean the world to me. I honestly don’t think anyone made a conscious decision to walk away simply because I didn’t do what they wanted in a given moment. I think it was more a matter of me changing and growing, and the relationship itself couldn’t manage that change. I miss them. I love them… And it hurts my heart so badly to grieve people who are still alive.

So, this is where I am this week… Trying to focus on the beauty and joy of this season and stay out of the darkness…

Trying to stand gently in my truth and not backslide to a space that is familiar but terribly unhealthy…

Trying to remember that it is okay to be as kind and gentle with myself as I encourage others to be with themselves…

Trying to breathe… and tend to the needs of my heart in healthy ways…

Trying to simply manage each moment one at a time as life presents itself…
_____________________________________________________
Grief is a daily challenge that changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.

I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.

Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog; for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.