“I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them and give them gladness for sorrow.”
~ Jeremiah 31:13
When my kids were little and I taught music and directed several choirs, this was our busiest time of year. There were musicals, concerts, private performances, caroling, parades, and church services. You name it, and we were there… And that was on top of everything else the season demanded, such as shopping, wrapping, cards, cooking, visits, etc.
I loved it! … At the same time, it was absolutely exhausting!
When Bruce and I got married, while I still sang in the church choir, I changed career fields and let the rest go. It was kind of nice to “sit back” a little bit and simply enjoy only a little bit of the chaos. Bruce was such a calm, chill soul that the season never seemed to get out of hand.
Instead, with Bruce, the holiday took on a whole different feel… One that allowed time to simply sit and take in all of the sights and smells… One, I believe, I had been chasing my whole life. For the first time that I ever experienced, we actually had time to just sit together on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and simply spend time together.
Even on our last Christmas together, we kept the day simple and went kayaking after opening our gifts. It was quiet and relaxing… and fun and beautiful on the water that day. While the pictures I took are terrible, the memories they inspire are absolutely fantastic.
Through the years, since then, I have gone from running away from the holiday to finally embracing it again. This year, though, I felt something more tugging at my soul. At first, I wasn’t even sure what it was I was seeking…
Then, in my devotions this week, the topic of “comfort” came up. It talked about the chaos that the season can induce, and how easy it is to get so lost in all of it that we end up feeling completely alone, despite being around so many people. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt exactly that since Bruce died – completely surrounded and yet completely alone.
But the devotion didn’t stop there… It went on to talk about taking the time to “go within” and find that special connection with the Divine. It talked about when we find ourselves grieving someone who is no longer here to celebrate with us, we can find solace in that spiritual connection… We can find comfort there… which opens the door to the joy of the season versus the busyness… This embodied so much of what Bruce had showed me about this season but has been so easily forgotten as the momentum snowballs.
As I meditated on all of this, the song, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, came to mind, especially that last verse…
Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of Christmas
All other doth deface.
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
And that is my wish for all of us this season… That we will slow down and take the time to hold each other in our hearts… That we will lay down our differences and simple love each other in such a way that we all feel comfort and joy – once again… or (maybe even) for the first time.
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Grief is a daily challenge that changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.
I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.
Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*
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