This morning at church, one of the themes was centered around prosperity. We discussed how prosperity is usually defined as having to do with financial status or material possessions. The challenge for most of us is to think about prosperity in terms of our relationships, and how much richness is added to our lives through our relationships.
Immediately, I thought of Bruce and all that he added (and continues to add) to my life. This isn’t the first time I have thought about that. In fact, many of my journal entries include things I am thankful for, and in some form, Bruce is always on the list. In fact, on the anniversary of his death a few weeks ago, I made a long list of things about Bruce that I am thankful for… (After four pages, I stopped, but the list could have been much longer.)
On this list, I included the many ways I still feel him in my life… The things I feel he has had a hand in or chuckled about… or both. On that same anniversary day, one such scenario occurred, and since it continues to make me laugh and has already become one of my favorite precious memories, I thought I’d share it with y’all today… (And hopefully, it will bring a smile to your face, too.)
As I mentioned last week, I took the day off to spend it in quiet reflection, while also allowing myself to write and feel all the things. I spent the morning in our home. Yes, I cried, but I also smiled as I remembered so many wonderful memories – reliving them in my mind’s eye and expressing so much gratitude for each and every one.
For lunch, I went to a waterfront tiki bar in a nearby town. While Bruce never had the opportunity to go there, it is a place I recently found and the whole vibe is one he would have loved. I think it would have become our weekend spot if he had known about it. I spent over an hour there, simply enjoying the waterfront view and the delicious seafood… (the glass of wine didn’t hurt either). I even splurged, and had key lime pie for dessert, which was Bruce’s specialty. I never knew when he was going to make one. I would just come home and find one in the frig (and a grin on Bruce’s face). His was the best Key Lime pie! I always loved this kind of surprise. Admittedly, it’s been a long time since I had Key Lime pie, and this one did not disappoint.
From there, I headed out to the beach. For reference, there are 13 stations. Numbers 1 – 5 have a bit of a steep incline, both over the dunes and out to the shoreline, so we rarely went to these when Bruce was alive. Station #13 has long been the nudist station, and there are signs as you drive in stating such, so that no one will be caught off guard, and people can make their own choices about where to spend their time.
I need to explain that Bruce would always tease me about going to #13. Not that I care – you want to be naked, then be naked. Honestly, I wish I had the self-confidence and positive body image to do that… But I don’t. So… our favorite was station #9. We used to spend many Sundays out there – Bruce fishing and me reading or both of us simply relaxing and holding hands. There are so many wonderful memories there. This is also where his ashes were sprinkled way offshore many years ago.
So, this is where I wanted to be…
I simply wanted to go sit out there and enjoy that space… To feel Bruce nearby and do some more reflection and writing. (I guess, for me, it is like going to sit by a loved one’s grave sight – or as close as I can get.)
However, due to the damage from hurricane Nicole, the only open stations were #1 – #5 and #7. Well, since #7 was as close as I could get to #9, that is where I headed. It was a sunny day, but the temps were only hovering around the mid-70s on shore, (which meant the beach would be about 10 degrees cooler once you crossed the dunes). No worries, I had on jeans, tennis shoes, and a hoodie – with the sun shining, I figured I would be warm enough.
I pulled my gear out of the trunk and started the hike on the boardwalk over the dunes. As I reached the top, I noticed a man… a naked man walking back from the water to his chair. “Oh,” I thought, “we’re going to do that today, I see.” Oh well… to each his own. After all, it was a weekday, maybe he felt so inclined since there wouldn’t be that many people here… Who knows?? Honestly, I really didn’t care.
Then, as I scanned the shoreline to find a place to settle, I noticed that everyone on the beach was nude… or at least 99% of them. I didn’t care… I just took my chair, and since the tide was going out, I settled as close to the water as possible… And here is what I wrote…
“Hi Babe! I am at the beach and must ask you… “Did you have a hand in this?” Holy Moly! So the nude beach has evidently been moved to #7 for the time being. I can’t tell you how surprised I was when I crossed the dunes… and how much I want to giggle. (I know – I am five years old over here.) I don’t care, though, so here I sit, fully clothed, in the middle of a bunch of naked people. I am sure you are laughing so hard right now! This is a friendly lot, though. Everyone says “hi” and are all talking to each other (and me). Oh my gosh! How I miss sharing stuff like this with you. At the same time, I can’t help but feel like you had a hand in this, so that I would laugh today. Thank you, Babe, for another precious memory!”
So… This is where my prosperity is… in the many precious memories shared with and /or because of the people I love… and in this particular case, it is Bruce!
_________________________________________________________
Grief changes us. This journey is not an easy path for anyone… and at certain times of the year, (like now), it can be just a little bit harder. I don’t think any of us chose this path, but this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined. Each time I think I have it all figured out; I find I don’t at all, despite the years since Bruce passed. Life is filled with challenges for all of us. For me, my goal is to look at this year before me and (intentionally) hold onto the joy and the hope life holds.
Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.
Please do… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*
This is a weekly blog, for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief
* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.
