Seeking peace… Finding grace… Feeling gratitude…
This is what I talked about last week. With Thanksgiving happening this past week, the journey has continued, yet changed a smidge. This week has held a journey… a quest, if you will, for gratitude… not for all things – that’s ridiculous and what I would call toxic positivity… And not just in all things – although that makes a lot more sense… But if I think of it as “despite all things” – that seems to work better in my mind.
In other words, no matter what is happening around me… no matter if my world is fabulous or upside down… I can find something to be grateful for. It may not have anything to do with what is currently happening in my world. It may not even be anything from the present. It may be a precious memory that I can recall and hang onto to help me get through the current situation. Or maybe it is a person who I am grateful to know or have known. It can be anything.
When Bruce first died, a friend suggested that I start listing 3 – 5 things a day that I was grateful for. At first it was simply things, such as getting out of bed that day or eating all 3 meals. It was a struggle, though. Then, as time passed, I stopped doing it. I don’t know why. It just seemed pointless, I guess. I was listing these things, but then I closed my journal and didn’t think about them anymore. I guess what I am saying is that I didn’t keep applying that principle throughout my day.
About a year ago, though, I bought a “gratitude journal” and started again. I don’t know what made me buy a “gratitude journal”. After all, I could make a list in any journal or notebook. Yet, this journal had little quotes and ideas that stirred my heart. In time, I found my soul awakened to the many things in my life that are precious to me, but I so often take for granted.
To be honest, at first, I still struggled to think of 3 – 5 things to be grateful for each and every day. Then, 2023 happened. I lost people who had been such an important part of my life. I lost family members who had been an integral part of my childhood. I even lost my job. What the heck?!
However, the funny thing is as the year progressed and more and more events piled up, my gratitude list actually got longer each day. How crazy is that?? That list still includes the people who choose to be a part of my world and the simple things that make up my world. For example, my morning teatime is almost always on the list, my home, my church, my friends, my family, my kiddos, even my favorite chair and blanket, plus anything special someone did or said that brightened my world.
Not a single item is major or grandiose. None of them are things that stand out. They are almost all simple, everyday people, things, or events. Things that I have taken for granted in the past. Yet now, they seem to stand out as special simply because they don’t have to be a part of my world. They just are.
I literally feel prosperous – not because I have a lot of money. I don’t. (Remember the part where I lost my job.) Yet, I am grateful that I have learned to manage the money I have, so I haven’t had to go without. The severance I received was generous and allowed me the time to find the right job versus any job. I feel prosperous because of the friends and family who have stayed by my side through thick and thin. They have called to check in or just to see about hanging out. I am prosperous because I knew Bruce. Because he added so many positive things to my life that I am still exploring, to include setting an example of being laid off and still being okay.
When we are in a tough spot, especially one that is unexpected – like grief, it is easy to only see what is missing or what is overwhelming us or causing us pain. It is so easy to take those things and fall into that rabbit hole of depression or self-pity. (And sometimes I still do. I believe that is human nature and not anything to beat myself up about.)
However, as time passes, and I am learning more and more to focus on those people and things that do make me smile… Now, that is becoming second nature as I go through my days. Sure, things still upset me. Sure, I still feel anxious and worried at times. Yet, despite those circumstances, I am learning to also see the people and things that truly make my life a blessing.
Thank you for being one of those people!
“I find demonstrations of abundance daily and see them in the beauty of the world and in generous expressions of kindness and thoughtfulness.” ~ Daily Word, November 24, 2023
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Grief changes us. This journey is not an easy path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone. I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. This year, my goal is to simply ‘be’… Be me, be kind, be compassionate, be loving, be hopeful… to just ‘be’ and to be comfortable with that… however it looks.
Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.
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