This week, we had something happen that every Floridian dreads… The AC went out. Thankfully, we live in a small town and my HVAC service tech knows me, so they were out within a few short hours. Turns out, it is the same fuse on “the board” that seems to get triggered every season since this unit was installed.
This time, the technician recommended replacing the board while it is still under warrantee… Makes sense to me. So now, we wait for the part to arrive, (hopefully by Tuesday).
Now, I know me pretty well, and I know that in the past, I would have been in tears… or at the very least, I would have been in “victim mode” – resigned to spending a miserably, hot weekend in a sweltering house.
Not today, though! Instead, I immediately booked a hotel (with a pool, of course). So today, I am fat and sassy and sitting poolside with a cool drink in my hand, a book in the other, and a smile on my face… which makes me think… Where did I learn this? … and I can just as easily tell you… from Bruce.
I will always remember how easily he just went with whatever life threw his way. It didn’t seem to matter what it was… He was always okay. (So different from any of the men I have previously known.)
One of the first times I saw this in action was the first weekend we spent on his boat. It was about a 20-foot sailboat with a small cabin below. Our plan was to enjoy sailing on Lake Michigan during the day and to sleep on the boat at the marina at night. It all sounded incredibly romantic to me… and it was… until I panicked.
The day had been lovely. We sailed up and down the coast, stopping to swim or for a bite to eat. During the evening, we stopped to watch the Blue Angels perform while Bruce did some grilling up on the deck. Then, as the sun set, (which in MI in July is close to 11 pm), we started to settle in for the night. That’s when I realized he didn’t fit on the bed. He was at least 6 – 7 inches too tall, leaving his feet hanging off the edge.
Automatically, I panicked. “First of all,” he said, “it’s not your job to worry about that. I bought this boat. I am also well aware of my size. I am happy because I am here with you.” … And that was that… My heart soared!
That wasn’t the first or last time when we both knew our circumstances weren’t stellar. Yet, every time, he always seemed to be okay. Nothing seemed to faze him – even when he was laid off or when one of our kids needed some help. None of it mattered…
The bottom line was… his world didn’t have to be perfect for him to enjoy it… What a legacy! No matter the circumstances, he could always find something to smile about… something to make it okay.
So, as I sit by the pool today at a strange hotel, (one of the last to still have space on this holiday weekend), I can smile because life may not be perfect, but I can still enjoy it, thanks to a man who taught me that we are all only responsible for our own happiness… and that is always a choice.
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Grief changes us. This journey is not an easy path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone. I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.
Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.
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