Tag: all of us

Peace, Love, and Grief – Blessings

Hello, my friends! I apologize for missing last week. I was on vacation. (Sadly, due to certain situations in my life, I never feel safe making that announcement beforehand.)

This week, I want to do something a little bit different. I want to offer blessings to each and every one of us. I know that is such an old custom – one that seems to be lost these days. It’s odd that the judgement piece seems so entrenched in our culture, but to offer blessings is not… and I think we could all use a little more blessing in our lives.

So… This is for you… and me…

Blessings for those who are grieving…

Blessings to those whose heart is struggling to comprehend what has happened.
… And to those who watched death come slowly – forcing them to grieve twice.

Blessings to those who have already cried enough tears to fill every ocean on the planet.
… And to those who can’t cry at all.

Blessings to those who are grieving their own way.
… And to those who have lost other relationships because they can’t grieve the way someone else believes they should.

Blessings to those who are struggling with feelings of loneliness or abandonment.
… And to those who don’t know how they will face the rest of their days alone.

Blessings to those who are wrestling with depression or thoughts of suicide.
… And to those who don’t even want to face tomorrow.

Blessings to those who keep going through the motions.
… And to those who don’t know why they even bother most days.

Blessings to those whose only accomplishment today was getting out of bed.
… And to those who couldn’t even do that.

Blessings to those who smile and say “thank you” when offered shallow platitudes
… And to those who can’t, don’t or won’t.

Blessings to those who feel abandoned or unsupported by their faith.
… And to those have lost their faith because, after all, how could a God of love and understanding allow this.

Blessings to those who don’t know how to handle all the things – all of the many roles that are now theirs.
… And to those who are angry because all of this is so unfair.

Blessings to those who think they will never smile or laugh again.
… And to those who feel guilty when they do.

Blessings to those who wake up alone, go to bed alone and spend every moment in between alone.
… And to those who can’t figure out the reason they are still here – alone.

Blessings to those who are enduring the judgement of others while still fighting this pain.
… And to those who wear sunglasses in public so no one can see that they are crying.

Blessings to those who can’t celebrate the holidays.
… To those who try to celebrate by setting a place at the table for their lost loved one.

Blessings to those who are taking things one day at a time.
… And to those who pray constantly for this pain to end.

Blessings to those who wait to cry in the shower or in the bed at night so no one else will hear.
… And to those who can’t seem to stop the flow of tears.

Blessings to those who want to give up.
… And to those who are determined to keep moving forward.

Blessings to all of us… We are hurting.
It is pain that is shared and, yet it is still as individual as each and every one of us.

Blessings to us all as we find our way along this journey… one step at a time.
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Grief changes us. This journey is not an easy path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone. I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.

Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.

Please do… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog, for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.

Peace, Love and Grief… Grieving for All of Us

“A house divided against itself, cannot stand.“
~ Abraham Lincoln

This week, as our nation continues to divide itself, I am grieving… for all of us. I keep wondering how in the world we got to such a place… Yes, I know the history behind this week takes us back many, many years. However, I am talking about this newest phenomenon… I am referring to this space where the only opinions many people want to hear are those that mirror their own. Anything else and there is a complete and total disconnect. No longer is there a mutual respect, which not only allows for different opinions, but it also allows us to sit down and respectfully discuss those opinions.

But not in today’s world… not anymore. Now, we have friends and families divided – completely divided and turning on each other – and for what?? Because one side has to be the only right side? Because the idea that maybe that isn’t so, can’t be discussed or tolerated.

Just this week, as my daughter and I sat in a restaurant, we found ourselves whispering about the latest news stories – too afraid to talk out loud for fear of violence from the strangers sitting around us. When the waitress walked up without us realizing it, and tried to join in, we completely stopped talking… Again, too afraid of any repercussions that people today somehow feel are their “right” to carry out.

I grieve deeply as I see friends and families hurl insults and accusations at one another on social media… Or dig in their heels about theories rather than listening to one another, searching for truth and facts, talking rationally, and letting the constitution with all its checks and balances function the way it is meant to.

I grieve for all of this. I have friends and family on both sides of the political arena, and whether I agree with their opinions or not, I still love them. If we can have a respectful discussion – great! If that can’t happen, (and there are times when it can’t), I don’t hesitate to say, “We can’t talk about this,” and I move the conversation to something else… But it grieves me…

After Bruce died, I struggled to understand why that had to happen… And now, with all of this craziness, I am struggling again… struggling to understand this loss, as well. For goodness sake, how in the world did we let it get to this point?

While each person may be different, I honestly don’t believe this started last week, or two months ago, or even four years ago. I think this has been a cancer that has been allowed to grow over many years and for many reasons. For the mainline population, I think many people simply stopped holding the information they ingest accountable, as well as their own responses to it. People stopped looking for truth. If someone they trusted said something, suddenly that was good enough to be truth.

Then, to add to the mix, many people started getting so caught up in “their rights,” they forgot about responsibility and respect. I don’t know about everyone else, but I was always taught that our lives need to include a balance of all three – rights, responsibility, and respect… But somewhere along the line, we have lost that… And I grieve for that loss.

As functional parents, we would never let any of our children demand their own way, then fight with each other to achieve it. We don’t tolerate name-calling or let them destroy each other’s property in order to get their own way. Instead, we teach them to think rationally… to look for a better solution… to talk to each, get to the root of the issue (with our help, if necessary), and find a way to work it out in a peaceful manner. We teach them that violence is not the answer. Why? Because we are trying to also teach them to have respect and responsibility for each other and the family. Because we know, “A house divided against itself…”

So… why are we as adults not holding ourselves to the same standard?

I am not writing this to be political… I don’t want to start a political commentary or discussion. I am simply saying that I am grieving because I miss us… All of us… A group of vastly different people with various opinions who were once able to talk about those differences while still caring about each other and working together… with none of us demanding our own way…

I miss that… I grieve the loss of that… And I also hope (and pray) that enough of us feel this same way… Enough of us are grieving what we have become and are willing to work as hard as we can, in order to find our way back to one another.

I know, this week I have strayed from my usual topic… Then again, maybe I haven’t. After all, we all grieve… We grieve for all kinds of people and things… This week I am just happen to be grieving for all of us… every single one…

Grief is hard. For some of us, this can create an emotional roller coaster. As for me, I thank you for the continued opportunity to share my feelings and experiences with you… (Like the ones this week.) It makes me feel as if there are others out there who understand what I mean… what I feel.

It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.

To leave a comment or story, go to the comments and leave us a note. * Who knows… your story may the answer for someone else.

This is a weekly blog, for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.