Painting Life
For a painting to truly reflect life, it must include the shadows.
For a painter to paint, she must not try to control the brush.
She must only hold the brush and choose where to move it.
The brush must flow its own way – the way it is intended in order to creat a beautiful painting.
Otherwise, the painting will be stilted and awkward…
only a poor image of the beauty available.
To reach one’s own potential and live a full life, accept the shadows;
do not strive to control.
Let go…
Then the true beauty of your life will be seen.
~ Linda, October 26, 2013
As I mentioned last week, I spent Thanksgiving week visiting my oldest daughter across the Atlantic. There was a lot that happened that week… A lot of laughing, a lot of heart to heart conversations, learning to trust and love again and what I want to talk about this week…
recognizing the beauty created through the pain in our lives.
One of the things that absolutely amazed me during my visit was my daughter and her husband’s knowledge of the wild birds and plants that we passed on our hikes through the countryside. They would hear a bird’s song and know right away what type of bird they were looking for to match the songs. (Too cool for words!) They would also pick the leaves of a plant and hand it to me to taste and say, “That will taste like a green apple”… or “sweet peas”… and it did! (Wow!)
One day when it was just my daughter and I, she pointed out some lavender growing wild along a brick wall. I love the scent of lavender and have it throughout my house. However, I have never seen it growing in the wild. It is such a lovely plant. I picked a small piece and took a whiff, but couldn’t smell anything.
“I can’t smell it,” I said.
“You have to crush it a little… then you’ll be able to smell it,” she responded.
So I crushed it just a bit between my fingers and took another whiff… It smelled heavenly – such a soft, sweet, calming fragrance. As we kept walking, I started thinking… isn’t that just like life. So many times in order to realize our own true potential, we need to be crushed a little bit. There has to be some struggle along the way or we can never know what we are truly cabable of becoming.
I say this, but in all honesty, I would be perfectly happy to not be crushed… I’m kind of tired of that part. LOL! Learning to be thankful for the struggles in my life and recognizing the growth produced each time, has been a lesson I seem to be destined to learn over and over. But near the end of the week I came to realize that maybe I’m not the only one… maybe this applies to everyone – not just those who are grieving, but everyone.
During one of our heart to heart conversations, I told my daughter how proud I am of the woman she has become. She has such a gentle spirit and yet at the same time, she is so strong. Learning to live abroad – in another culture – and feel comfortable enough to call it “home” takes a lot of strength of character, self-reliance and patience. She blushed and shook her head as she told me how lonely she feels sometimes.
It was like listening to myself… So many of the things she said, I have said or thought a hundred times since Bruce died. It is a feeling where you know you are loved but there is still a feeling of separation from the people you love… an ever-present underlying feeling of facing the world alone. Whether that loneliness is physical or emotional doesn’t matter… Either way it is very real.
That was when it dawned on me just how real the idea of life’s struggles helping us reach our better selves truly is. I wasn’t a bad person before. (I don’t think.) But I know that since Bruce died, I have learned a lot about self-reliance and finding my happiness within myself… not from a store… or a bottle… or another person. I know that God has my back and has provided me with everything I need to get through this grief… and my life. Some days are harder than others and I struggle to remember that, but deep inside… I know it.
The struggles… the shadows of our life are what give us strength of character. It is how we learn to appreciate all the blessings in our life… those that make us smile right away and those that are the result our struggles.
Today has been a hard day… this will be my third Christmas without Bruce by my side. It is a hard reality, and today it is hard to see the blessing in it. But this I know…
I was blessed to share so many Christmases with Bruce and to have those memories. I know I am a better person because of knowing and loving Bruce. When I lost him, there were shadows created in the painting of my life that will always be there. But… those shadows also make the beauty of my life that much more intense…
and for that I can be thankful.
Have you ever grown because of a struggle? A time when you knew you had a choice to move forward or stay where you were? Would you be willing to share your story or thoughts? To do so, go to the comments and leave a note.*
Who knows… your story may the one someone else needs to hear.
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