“It’s in the things we lose that we discover what we most treasure.”
~ Adriana Trigiani, The Shoemaker’s Wife
I’m not sure I have ever read a truer statement.
Before Bruce died, I knew I loved him, and I knew he love me… I knew the love we shared was unconditional, and I never doubted it was a “forever thing.”
But…
It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized what a treasure we had together. And it wasn’t until he was gone that I started looking at the world in a different light. In other words, what really started happening was this… I started dividing the world into what is important and what isn’t.
I always knew my family and friends were the important things in my life, but now I came to see them as my treasure… What I hold dear and will defend above all else. Don’t get me wrong… I haven’t given up my “earthly possessions” or taken a vow of poverty – I absolutely love this home which Bruce and I shared, and the things here that trigger so many precious memories… But it is the memories that make those things precious, not the things themselves.
Yet even those things don’t hold a candle to the people I love who are right beside me and in my heart. These people I love are what is important… They are my treasure… They are my priority in each moment.
But, that’s not the end of it…
I’ll admit that since Bruce died there are things which still upset me, but it’s different now. Now those things have more to do with how we, as a society, treat each other these days… The cruel things people say and do towards each other, while rationalizing their “right” to behave that way.
I don’t understand it… And, honestly, I don’t want to.
Maybe it is where I grew up, but I was raised to believe in “loving one another” and “treating others the way you want to be treated.” For me this means showing respect towards each person whether I agree with them or not… And it truly hurts my heart when I see any of us behaving otherwise.
We have all heard the idea that “life is too short, so if you love someone tell them.”
Well, I think we need to take that a step further… When Bruce died, I came face to face with exactly how short this life can be, and found myself looking at what is important in my life… And it isn’t just the people I know and love…
It is all of us… All of us with our crazy backgrounds and histories… All of us with our own particular baggage and experiences… All of us with our differing religious beliefs and political views… All of us with our different cultures, languages, and races… I mean – all of us.
When everything else is stripped away… When all is said and done… We are just people – each deserving of respect and love…
And that, my friends, is our treasure in this life… That is what is important…
So, I would challenge all of us today with this idea, “Life is too short. Focus on what is truly important – people… all people… And treat everyone with respect and love.”
“No tree has branches so foolish as to fight amongst themselves.” ~ Native American Proverb
What about you? After you lost your loved one, have you struggled with the way people tend to treat each other? How do you deal with it? Or do you need support in that area? Would you be willing to share your story or your thoughts?
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