Peace, Love and Grief… Grieving the Loss of Us

I will bet when most people read this week’s title, they might assume I mean “us” as in “Bruce and I,” but I don’t. I am referring to a grief over the loss of “us” as friends… “us” as a group of caring, loving people. This is a loss that hit me last Sunday like a semi-trailer on the highway and has left me in tears as I contemplate shattered friendships.

Last Sunday, as I was scrolling through Face Book, I came across a friend’s post with a political opinion… Nothing new. It’s everywhere these days. There is no escaping it. I have my own opinion. Some of my friends have similar opinions and others do not. That is okay. I genuinely believe we all come from different backgrounds with different experiences which creates different opinions. I respect that.

Usually, I will scroll past those that are aggressive or argumentative in nature… Perhaps you know the ones I am talking about. I don’t like the name calling or the insistence that everyone must think like the person posting. Our country was born out of a desire to have our own opinions, whether it was about religion, politics, or anything else. We fought for the right to express ourselves through free speech and fair elections. I may be naïve, but I still believe in all of that.

I respect everyone’s right to a different opinion. I welcome a respectful conversation, where we can talk about those differences. What I miss… What I grieve is the loss of our ability to respect each other and to work together to find some common ground that will work for all of us.

Because this ability to respect and listen to each other seems to be missing these days, I scroll past a lot of stuff on Face Book, and have even chosen to “unfollow” some people. We’re still friends. (I wouldn’t “unfriend” someone for a difference of opinion or a feisty post.) I still care about them… I still check in on their pages every now and then to see how they are doing. I would never shut the door to a respectful conversation… I just don’t want to see all the arguments and name-calling. I believe we are better than that…

Anyway, what caught my attention on this particular post was the fact that most of the comments (and arguing) came from other people who are also my friends, or at least they were at one time. (Some of them I have not reconnected with, but I recognize their names.) This particular group of people are ones I grew with in church. They were the people from my church’s youth group many years ago. These people were my friends for over a decade, and I cherish each one.

For years, we were there for each other as we struggled to find our way on a Christian path from childhood through our teen years. These were the friends who listened empathetically as we poured our hearts out to each other. We were there for each other… We picked each other up when we stumbled. We held each other when we cried, and we celebrated each other’s victories… We were solid unit – a loving force to be reckoned with.

In fact, one of my favorite memories is of our choir days. I can’t even count the number of Sunday nights when we stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the church and sang, “They will know we are Christians by our love…”

Now, I think of that, and I cry…

What happened to us? At what point did we become those people who call each other names, (even to the point of making fun of each other’s names)? Or sanction hitting a woman? When did we start believing in violence and anger at all costs? When did we stop respecting each other’s right to a different opinion? When did we stop listening to each other and looking for common ground? When did we stop caring about and loving one another? Shoot… When did we forget what love actually is?

When did we forget that… “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7

So, all week I have cried, and I have grieved… I have grieved because somewhere along the way, so many of us, (even those who say they believe in love and God and faith and all that goes with that), have become so caught up in our own opinions, we’ve quit caring about each other as people. This is what I grieve over – the loss of “us” … A people united despite and because of our differences.

I know… This week I am talking about a different kind of grief. But we are all in the middle of this. We can all see it. Does it bring you pain, too? Has anyone else felt grief over our current situation? Does anyone else know what I mean? These are tough times and perhaps dealing with our personal loss might make us a little more in tuned to any grief we might be feeling about our political climate, as well. Let us know what you think. We would love to hear your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.

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