Peace, Love and Grief… Now for the rest of the story

One Day
One day I will see him again.
And he will touch my cheek,
And kiss me,
And I will smile… again.

~ Linda, Sept 10, 2014

Last week I wrote about our upcoming anniversary… Where we had come from, what we had planned and what I anticipated as the upcoming reality. Well, it ended up being such an incredible day… better than I could have ever imagined. So, I thought this week I would share that with you… just as I wrote it in my journal (which I always write as if it is a letter to Bruce).

First I should probably explain that I don’t just believe, I know that there is still a connection between Bruce and I. (And those I am closest to and love get to hear those stories quite a bit.) This is one of those stories…

Nov 14

Hi Babe,
Oh my gosh, I miss you today! It was such a good week, especially Monday! Our anniversary was beautiful! I worked from home and started early (4:30 am) since I wasn’t sure how I would be emotionally as the day progressed. It was supposed to rain in the afternoon so I decided to go to the beach at sunrise to spend some time with you.

When I got to the station where we scattered your ashes, the tide was high; the surf was rough and while the sky was lit up, the sun hadn’t risen quite yet. I was the only one there… it was perfect.

I changed my mind about bringing you a beer and decided instead to bring you some of the Jamaican rum I got this summer. It just felt right since that was supposed to have been our trip. I started off pouring you only 1/2 a shot. (I was really hesitant to pour very much of this rum into the ocean. After all, I can’t get it here and who knows when I’ll go back there.) Then I laughed because I could almost hear you say, “Really? That’s all? What kind of tribute is that?”

Shoot! Touche! You win! I think we were both laughing as I filled the shot and poured it into the next wave that came up and covered my feet. Then, I poured my own shot and lifted it in a toast to us… to our connection that even death cannot stop.

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After that I took your card and three roses and placed them in the sand below the high tide mark. I managed to get a picture before a wave came and took the card. (I did not see the card again.) However, it took a few more waves for the roses to go… at least two of them. One rose kept washing back up to my feet. I’d throw it back into the water and back it would come (right to my feet). The others were long gone, but that one kept coming back.

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“Babe,” I said, “Stop! These are for you.” The next time I threw it, it didn’t come back. I smiled with satisfaction and sat down to watch the sun rise.

About that same time, a man came down the boardwalk and seeing me to the left, he followed “appropriate beach etiquette” (lol!) and went to the right. Within a minute or two, though, he was walking back toward me… carrying “the rose.”

As I stood to greet him he said, “I know this sounds weird, and I’m really out here to fish, I promise. But this rose just washed up at my feet, and I had this overwhelming urge to bring it to you. Now that I’m here, it looks like you need it.” Then he paused as I started to laugh and cry at the same time. “Was that okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said as I took the rose back and explained why I was there. I went on to explain that I had thrown that rose back several times.

“I think your husband must want you to have this one,” he said as he gave me a hug and walked back to his spot. At that point I looked out at the water to thank you, Babe, and there – not 3 feet from the shore (in the gully) – was a 4 – 5 foot shark. (We always called Bruce, My Michigan Shark, after the shark in Finding Nemo and because it was the “on-set” nickname of the shark in Jaws.)

I smiled all day because of that… thank you, Babe!

For dinner I went to our place in Cocoa and the waiter remembered me. He greeted me as soon as I walked in. “I saw ‘Anniversary dinner for one’ in the Reservation book,” he said, “and I was hoping it was you. We will make this a special night… I promise.” And, of course, they did… even down to a complimentary glass of champagne.

It was not what we planned all those years ago, Babe, but I felt happy… and loved… Thank you!

I shared this story with you knowing that there will be different reactions… and probably plenty of skeptics. That’s okay. My purpose is to write about my experience, so I will tell you what my Daddy told me when I related the beach story to my parents…

“Only you can interpret that story for yourself, Tiger.” (Yep – That’s what my Daddy has always called me.) “Don’t let anyone tell you what it is or isn’t. Keep the joy you felt and hold onto that.”

And that is precisely what I plan to do.

Website Note: Due to family time, I will be slightly off schedule for the next couple of weeks. I will post early next week and late the following week. Thank you for understanding my need to enjoy my precious time with those I love.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you connected with your loved one? I would love to hear from you… Please feel free to share your experiences, too. To do so, go to the comments and leave a note.*

Who knows… your story may be the one that changes everything for someone else.

This is a weekly blog, for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

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