This weekend was a celebration… My youngest daughter got married! It was amazing to watch the her and her husband laugh and play throughout the entire day. It was a day which truly reflected each of them as individuals and who they are as a couple.
However, there were also some bittersweet moments, as well.
Years ago, when Bruce and I got married, it was the most wonderful day… It was a small, simple ceremony at the courthouse, with only a few family members present. In fact, because of timing and distance, my youngest daughter was the person from my family who was able to attend. I can’t say she was a willing, or enthusiastic, witness. (Now, we laugh about that.) However, in her defense, she had just been moved to a whole new state – away from her siblings – so her mother could marry a man she barely knew, while she was in the middle of high school.
The first few months were hard… She was very angry with Bruce and I. She didn’t want to be there… In fact, she didn’t want to be anywhere near either of us. However, the tide did turn (and it was sooner than I had expected). By the six-month mark, she was baking him cookies and referring to him as her “dad.”
Their relationship grew through the years as he filled a void in her life and became the loving father she didn’t have. Many nights I would come home to find him helping her with homework or giving hugs after a rough day. Many winter evenings were filled with the two of them having an indoor snowball fight (in winter) or a water war (in summer). He taught her how to snowboard and attended all of her concerts, dance competitions and theater productions. She relied on him for advice, such as which first apartment would be best or what next step to take in her life… And he was always there for her… Always.
Like many girls, she used to dream about what her wedding would be like when she got married. For example, she always wanted a beach wedding. As she got older, and their relationship got stronger, she would to tell Bruce that when she got married, she wanted him to walk her down the aisle. He would always get this huge grin on his face and tease her about wearing a bathing suit on the bottom and a tuxedo on the top. But in all honesty, he also talked about how much it meant to him… He was so honored that she would ask him to fill this spot on such an important day in her life.
But time was not on his side, and as you already know, he died before he could keep that promise.
So, as she began to plan this wedding, she had to make some different choices. She and her brother have always been close. In fact, he was the one to take her to her Father/Daughter dances when she was younger. So, she knew he was the one she wanted to walk her down the aisle.
However, she still wanted to include Bruce. Also, the groom has lost his father and brother in recent years and wanted to include them, as well. So, they placed a memorial table prominently in the reception hall with all of their pictures and a sign that read, “Forever in our hearts.” It was a beautiful way to include them on such a special day.
That seems like it would be the end of the story, but it really isn’t…
You see, throughout the years since Bruce died, pelicans have come to symbolize Bruce’s presence for me. Knowing they are considered a symbol of great love and sacrifice, every time I see them, I think of him… and I smile. In fact, each year on our anniversary, when I go out to the beach to toast the day with him, it never fails – there is always a flock of pelicans flying by with the exact number to match the year. (For example, there were ten pelicans on our tenth anniversary.)
Well, this celebration was no different… Each time she was out at the beach making preparations, a pelican flew by as if to say, “Yes, I am here.” Then on Friday, as she and her new husband were walking back down the aisle, she looked up and there it was… One lone pelican flying by… In her heart and in mine, that was a sign from Bruce… A sign that he really was there… And he wouldn’t have missed it for the world!
What about you? Have you ever felt the presence of your loved one? Is there a certain animal or thing that when you see it, you just know they are there with you? I know this journey can be hard, but I also believe there are blessings along the way, if we are open to seeing them. I also believe we are in this together and would love to hear your stories. Please feel free to reach out and share your story or thoughts. To do so, go to the comments and leave a note. *
Who knows? Your story may the answer for someone else.
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