Tag: life is precious

Peace, Love, and Grief – The Sacred

Often the instruments of change
Are not kind or just
And the hardest openness
Of all might be
To embrace the change
While not wasting your heart
Fighting the instrument.
~ Mark Nepo, Fighting the Instrument

I was raised with the idea that God is sacred. The Christian Bible is sacred. Life in the womb was even (on some occasions) labeled “sacred”, although that was more in the late ’70s to early ’80s – not in my younger years. What I learned went something like this…

God? Sacred (period)

People? Sinners… unworthy… Not sacred.

Animals? Not capable of conscious thought and less than human… Not sacred.

Plants, Rocks, nature in general – No thought, no soul, created solely for animal benefit, and therefore, less than humans or animals… Not sacred.

This never sat quite right with me… Early on, I began to believe that all things are sacred… Not trying to be religious or controversial… So, please don’t tune me out… Stay with me for a bit more, please.

First, I know that not all of us in this space share the same faith or ideas of God, the Universe, or whatever Divinity or Non-divinity ideations that exist. That is fine. This idea, today, though hinges on two thoughts for me… Maybe one (or both) will be something you can relate to, as well.

First thought… If the Divine/Universe/(Insert your own view here) created all things, then all things are Divine – no mistakes. All things are as they are meant to be, and no one thing is more sacred than another… Instead, all things are sacred. All things are to be cared for and treated with awe and respect.

We can look at the world around us and choose to see the blessings and abundance that surround us – day in and day out… The beauty in a flower opening in spring and the exhilaration of walking through a path of crunchy fall leaves… The endearing scent of a newborn baby and the stories and memories of a beloved senior… The unfiltered exuberance of a puppy and the majesty of a soaring eagle… All of these things inspire awe in me. All of these things deserve sacred respect from me.

But, there is something more. This is the second part… It isn’t just the things that we can experience through our five senses that are sacred…

Anyone who has experienced the loss of someone they loved dearly has also learned that there are other precious things also surrounding us which cannot be touched, seen, heard, tasted, or smelled. Through our loss and grief, we learned fairly quickly just how precious life and time truly are. Neither can be replicated or recreated… Once they are gone, they are gone… for good.

We can’t get time back, and we can’t get our loved ones back. Yet, moving forward in life can often feel impossible. There are days when all I can think about is how I wish Bruce were still here… But he isn’t… And while it is important for our healing for us to stand in that pain and work through it, staying there for too long stops us from experiencing and appreciating the sacredness of our own lives… right here… right now.

It isn’t easy. I know that… I have no intention of trying to sound like it is. I am writing this as much as a reminder for myself as for anyone else on this path. I know exactly how precious life is. I also know that the time I have with my other loved ones is precious, as well. Still, I’ll admit it – I’m not full-on loving this life every single moment. (Who is?)

What I am saying is that I want to remember just how precious and sacred are this life and this time that I have been gifted here… Then, I want to stand in my circumstances (whatever they are) and still live my life in such a way that others will know it, too.

“Longing for the past and its seeming perfection
destroys our ability to create the potential sacredness of today.”
~ Jamie Sams, Earth Medicine

NOTE: If you were looking for me last weekend, I was traveling with one of Bruce’s sisters – spending precious time with a precious sister. I thank you for your understanding. 😊
_____________________________________________________
Grief is a daily challenge. It changes us in ways we could never foresee, making this journey a difficult path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as what I have felt and learned along the way. Even sharing our stories of love and life can be helpful on this journey. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone.

I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are. Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. Learning to take it one day/moment at a time is all any of us can do.

Thankfully, I know I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog; for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.

Peace, Love, and Grief… Life is Precious

“I view my life through eyes of wonder.” ~ Daily Word, July 30, 2023

Life is precious.

How many times have I said or written that in the last 10 years? I’ll tell you… a lot!

When Bruce died, I realized quite quickly just how precious (and precarious) life really is. We never know what will happen in the next breath. We never know if the next breath will even happen at all, because the only moment that is guaranteed is the one in which we currently are.

Just a few hours before Bruce died, we were sitting at the table laughing and planning a kayaking trip for that weekend. We went to bed that night with our normal routine – him tucking me into my side of the bed before crawling into his side, turning off the light, and snuggling up. Then, somewhere in the night, he took one breath… but not the next. That next breath… the one not promised… did not happen. His life… his precious life was over.

Just typing those words brings it all back like it was yesterday. The shock and unbelief as I struggled to make sense of what was happening to my world still rocks me to my core. I couldn’t (or wouldn’t) believe he was dead. That was impossible. We had just signed and mailed my daughter’s birthday card. We had just had the most wonderful holiday season complete with parties and dancing. We had plans for that weekend, a trip planned to Jamaica in two months… Our (early) retirement was just around the corner with dreams of sailing the Caribbean… And in one breath, it was all gone. Not only our dreams, but “us”… We were gone. We were no longer a “we”.

Life is precious.

Up to that point, I didn’t mind working 14+ hour days. (Shoot! I have even done a few 24-hour shifts in my career.) A 50 or 60-hour work week was the norm. When I taught school, it wasn’t unusual to find me there on the weekends or even well past midnight during the week. I love to be productive. I love to feel like I have a purpose for being on this earth. Shoot, I even went back to work within two weeks of Bruce’s death, because I could no longer sit and stare at the walls of my home.

Yet, it didn’t take long for me to realize that while I love my job, it isn’t my whole life. It isn’t who I am. It is only what I do… some of the time. Life is too short to work all the time. Rest and fun are important too. Isn’t there supposed to be a day of rest? Plus, watching how Bruce’s company responded to his death, I know that the business world doesn’t slow down because someone dies. They replace us (probably) faster than we can be buried.

Life is precious.

So, I learned to be a bit more selfish with my personal time. To be clear, I work hard, and I still don’t mind the occasional overtime. If there is a pending deadline or a project that requires some extra time, that is fine. I don’t mind. But I no longer feel the need to sacrifice my personal life to “prove” my worth as an employee. I take my breaks (usually going for a walk) and my full lunch (usually a short nap). I know without a doubt that no matter how much I do today, there will still be plenty to do tomorrow. So, while I am salary and not hourly, I still track my time, and the end of the day is the end of the day… (a very important concept when you work from home, and it would be quite easy to work 24/7).

Life is precious.

Today, thankfully, I had an epiphany… an “ah-ha” moment, if you will…

Yes, I have written about how precious life is. Even now, when I see couples arguing or families yelling at each other, I want to step in and beg them to stop. Life is too short to waste even a single moment on negative energy. Yes, have the hard conversations… talk things out (and that might take a while). However, there’s no need for all the other stuff… the stuff that hurts and leaves us feeling badly about ourselves and/or each other… the stuff that separates us rather than bringing us together.

Life is precious.

However, at the same time I was feeling and writing about all the preciousness of life, I was also praying that God would make my pain stop. (Legitimate, right?) However, I also prayed that God would take me too. I didn’t want to be here… alone. I wanted to be wherever Bruce was. I didn’t want to face a tomorrow that didn’t include this man I love.

It has been over a decade since Bruce passed… and while I have experienced a lot of healing in multiple ways, I still hurt. I still miss him. I still cry out in the deafening silence in my home… I still grieve.

Then, I read today’s devotional about the wonder of life…

“I think of this when disappointing life experiences chip away at my sense of awe and appreciation.” ~ Daily Word, July 30, 2023

WOW! That has been my experience these last ten years. While I recognize that life is precious, Bruce’s death definitely changed my sense of “awe and appreciation”. I was hurting too badly to see very far past all the pain.

“I open myself to the unexpected treasures happening all around me each day.” ~ Daily Word, July 30, 2023

Well, for someone who expected everyone else to realize the preciousness of life, I had obviously fallen short. Sure, I saw treasure in my family and those I love. I could still treasure the beauty of a rainbow or a newly opened flower. Yet, while those “open” moments are coming more often, it has still been something I must remind myself to do… It has not been as spontaneous as it was in years past.

“Wonder is a precious gift; one I use to appreciate the marvels unfolding before me.” ~ Daily Word, July 30, 2023

That was when it hit me. Life is precious. Without wonder, though, it becomes so much harder to experience. You see, I knew life is precious. I knew I wanted to live in a way that expressed just that. Yet, I have been missing the mark, because I have been missing that magic ingredient called wonder.

So, as I go about my day and the rest of this week, that is my goal… To not only say that life is precious, but to put some magic and wonder back into my mindset so that my thoughts, feelings, and actions also reflect that.

I love you, my friends, and let us all remember that… Life really is precious.
_________________________________________________________
Grief changes us. This journey is not an easy path for anyone. That is why I share the mistakes I have made, as well as, what I have felt and learned along the way. We know learning to function on this new path is hard, and it is easy to lose our way or forget that we don’t have to do it alone. I don’t think any of us chose to be here… I know I didn’t. Yet, this is where life has landed us for now… This is where we are.

Our lives are now filled with challenges we never imagined and emotions that feel overwhelming at times. So often, I think I have it all figured out, only to find that isn’t true at all. Despite the years since Bruce passed, my life is still filled with challenges, as I am sure yours is too. This year, my goal is to simply ‘be’… Be me, be kind, be compassionate, be loving, be hopeful… be filled with wonder… to just ‘be’ and to be comfortable with that… however it looks.

I am so grateful that I am not alone… None of us are… We have each other. It is our love for those we have lost that brings us together into this space where we can share our experiences. I believe the sharing of our stories is so important… I believe it is healing. Do you have a story to tell? I believe we can find courage and strength in one another’s stories. I believe we can offer each other empathy when we open our hearts to one another. I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel better knowing there are others out there who understand what I mean, and what I feel. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… Maybe this strikes a chord with you too. We would all love to hear your thoughts or your story. If you would like to share your experience or if you need a helping hand or maybe a virtual hug, let us know. We are here for you.

Please do… This is our community. To share your thoughts and experiences go to the comments and leave your message.*

This is a weekly blog, for daily affirmations we have a Facebook page of the same name. Join us daily at www.facebook.com/peaceloveandgrief

* Be advised that all comments are subject to approval prior to posting. Any comments determined to be spam or not in accordance with the mission of this website/blog will not be approved or posted. Furthermore, any comments determined to be hostile in nature will be reported to the proper authorities. Thank you.